April 24, 2012
5.6: The End or the Beginning for Don and Megan?

One question that I’ve been chewing on is whether Don and Megan’s epic chase and fight signaled the end of our protagonist’s “love leave” or the beginning of what’s a more true relationship between Don and his young wife. I begin with an excerpt from my colleague Linda Holmes’ recent post:

There was a surprising amount of “This marriage works very well, because they really get each other” analysis going around after “Zou Bisou Bisou” and the later quasi-violent sex scene in the season premiere, and it was a relief to see the show deal with the fact that this marriage is, in fact, ridiculous, and it is based on the same fundamental lack of respect that marks Don’s other relationships with women.

She goes on to lay out the argument that while the season premiere’s cat-and-mouse “fight” really resulted in some hot sex, this apartment chase displayed real fear on Megan’s part — she was actually scared of her husband in a way that “diminishes this whole thing.”

What I saw in that fight wasn’t the chase or Megan’s fear so much as Don’s fear that she would leave him. The way he clung to her at the end like a little boy against his mother. The way that was blocked, with Don on his knees and his face in Megan’s stomach, made it evoke even more strongly that boy/mom image. The honeymoon may be over — she expresses that she doesn’t “like everything” after all — but the overnight scare forced Don to realize how much he really NEEDS this wife, this woman.

It was just two episodes ago when I said I worry Don has a propensity to domestic violence even though the majority of you (and the pro reviewers) saw Don’s strangling-to-death of the former lover as the effort to symbolically crush his libido and primal desires to stray. I think it’s both — Don could hurt a woman because of his insecurities and his constant need for control (which makes me scared for this marriage), but he’s also constantly trying to punish himself. Remember what he needed from the prostitute last season? He wanted to be slapped again and again while having sex. So maybe there’s hope for him and Megan because she makes him at least sometimes WANT to change and be a better man. 

On the flip side, one message made clear by this show is that people don’t change, and that bad mothers wreck a man’s life for the long run. If that’s the case, this marriage is headed to disaster faster than we can say orange sherbert. 

Don and Megan… did this episode represent a step toward real intimacy and communication in their marriage, or was it the beginning of the end?

The truth is relative,

Elise

August 2, 2010
4.2: Is Don Draper a Bully?

Here’s what bullying looks like, in the world of Mad Men:

  • Lane Pryce was bullied into having a Christmas Party, when finances didn’t warrant it.
  • Pete Campbell was bullied into not staying in NYC for Christmas, b/c Trudy wanted to go away.
  • Off-screen, Roger bullied someone off the wagon at a lunch (apparently).
  • On-screen, Roger bullied Joan into wearing the red dress w/ a bow.
  • Lee Garner, Jr. bullied Roger into being Santa (perhaps the most obvious of the bullying).
  • Peggy was bullied by her boyfriend into sleeping with him, even though she didn’t really want to.
  • Glenn bullies his way into Sally’s home for attention. (Kind of a stretch, but not too much of one).

Not all of this may be considered bullying…but that’s okay. Some is just persuasion. But where does persuasion cross the line into bullying?

For example: it’d be easy to argue that Roger asking Joan to dress up in red is persuasion, but Lee asking Roger to dress up in red is bullying. In each case, one person is asking another to play a specific role. Is it persuasion if it’s something we actually want, but bullying if it’s something we are simply expected and/or forced to act on?

Looking at the various levels of bullying played out in all the other characters, I’m led back to the thematic question of the season — “Who is Don Draper?” After last night’s episode, I feel like I’m supposed to ask myself, “is Don Draper a bully?” And I can’t think about that w/o thinking about the situation with his secretary, Allison.

Allison is the only one, of all the characters highlighted above, who still doesn’t have that hardness, or cynical nature, that everyone else had. Pete got bullied; that happens in his marriage, he’s accepted it. Joan & Roger wear their costumes; such is their role. Peggy is trying to hide from her past; she chooses to play to expectations and give in. Even Sally recognizes that someone made a mess of the entire house except her room, where a present remained. As an increasingly rebellious kid, Sally doesn’t tell her Mom when she figures out who broke into their house; instead, Sally welcomes the bully.

My point is — every other character was self-aware about the bullying that was going on. Neither Don nor Allison, I think, ever thought there was any bullying. Don thought he was hooking up with someone willing to come over late at night; Allison thought she was connecting with someone she cared about and used the drinking as an excuse to get something she wanted. To me, I just didn’t see any bullying there. In fact, that was probably the most boring and predictable of any of Don’s hook-ups. Doesn’t make it less worse for Allison - but it also doesn’t allow us to say, “yes, Don Draper is a bully.”

Cross that one off the list. The thematic question rolls on…and in the mean time, I’m left to wonder what it is in my life I do that I want, and what it is I do in my life simply because it is expected of me.

—Phillip